I had my first ultrasound today, at 7.5 weeks, and there was a fetus with a tiny fluttering heart.  So we’re on the right track, and it’s a relief!  I’ve been feeling so ill that I was pretty sure I was still pregnant, but one never knows.  That’s the one thing I’ve learned over this 2.5 year infertility process….we have zero control over outcomes.  We can do our best to get the results we desire, but nothing is certain and things will happen when they happen.

The morning sickness is definitely worst for me in the morning now.  It eases up for a bit in the afternoon and then swoops back in around 7 pm.  I’m going to describe what it feels like, because before I was pregnant, I was really curious as to how it feels…..like the stomach flu, like food poisoning, upset stomach…what to expect?

It really is it’s own thing, at least for me.  The best I can describe it is…..It’s kind of like just after you stop vomiting with the stomach flu.  You are pretty sure you are not going to vomit, but still feel queasy.  You have no appetite and the thought of food is a real “blech” inducer.  But then….in morning sickness world, if you DON’T eat that “blech” food, you will most definitely start to feel worse, MORE like vomiting.  So you must force yourself to eat.  And to add to the fun, you have a new life totally dependant on your food choices, so you are cramming down the most repulsive food you can imagine, like… broccoli.  This fun little cycle restarts every 2-3 hours.  During the afternoons when I am feeling less vomit-y, I actually can feel a few hunger pains, but the lack of appetite is still there, so it is quite a strange dilemma.  And in the middle of night when I wake up to pee,  dizziness gets thrown into the mix.  I munch crackers every time I wake up, which does help.  It also helps me gain way to much weight too quickly which is just the stinker of everything.  Cause when I have the stomach flu and don’t eat for a few days, at the end of it, I feel like, “well, at least I lost a few pounds out of the ordeal,” which is always a good thing for me.  In this state of pregnancy though, despite feeling ill and not enjoying much eating, I’ve put on 5 pounds in 2 weeks.

I’m not complaining here, just explaining.  Morning sickness is part of the pregnancy deal for me, so I’ll take it.  And I know it could be much worse, so I’ll be as happy as I can manage through it all.  With any luck it will ease up in a few weeks.  Hopefully I will still be pregnant by then!