After the second failed FET, I had to stop thinking about babies for a bit,  hence the lack of posting.  But life has gone on sans my pregnancy, and I am a bit less depressed than a few weeks ago.

We are no longer on my health insurance, which means that our frosties cannot be transferred for the time being, and we are left once again to our own devices.  Back to OPKs and having sex no matter our moods –  and in our experience,  sex on demand is not very sexy.  It actually kind of sucks.  Especially because we are only having sex at that particular point to produce a baby, and we know that the odds of that happening are pretty damn low if not zero.  However,  I have not given up all hope –  after all we do have sperm and we do have eggs, which is a start and more than some couples have, and for that we are grateful.  I just ordered Fertility Blend for my husband, in the hopes of supercharging those little fuckers.  During the last chat with my doc, he said as far as he could tell, my eggs were fine (and I did produce a ton of them)  and my hubby’s sperm was on the upswing, so I feel like if we can whip up some super sperm, maybe things will change for us.  I am switching between totally ignoring the fact that we had no natural fertilization occur in the petri dish, and rationalizing that the not-my-body-environment had something to do with that failure.  I also read somewhere that late ERs can yield eggs with a tougher exterior.  I have no idea if this is true or not, but if I read it on an IF support board it must be legit….ha.  It helps support my rationalization defense mechanism, so I’m sticking with it.   I am really not expecting anything and am resigned to the fact that another IVF is most likely in my future once we get on a decent health insurance again. I also bought some royal jelly tablets but I am scared to take them.  What a weird thing to eat.

Has anyone out there used natural or vitamin supplements and gotten pregnant after going through IF?

That’s about it…I’m trying not to focus on the fact that I am 32 now, no baby, and little prospects for at least the next 6 months.  Its hard to want a family, do everything you can to get one, and still come up short.  And the fact that most people make a family instantly and effortlessly makes it so much harder.  Of course you all know this.

But if I have to hear another story from someone (usually a very fertile woman) about the people they know who stopped trying and then got pregnant, I’m going to have to hurt someone.

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