Sorry I’ve been MIA. Since ER I’ve developed a nasty case of OHSS, which has kept me from doing much except watching the Olympics and eating potato chips. I am having a rare bout of energy, so thought I’d fill everyone in.

After ER I was in a great amount of pain in my ovary/uterus area, which made sense since there had just been a giant needle hacking around inside. The next day that pain started subsiding, but a new one started. I chalked it up to gas/constipation because I hadn’t been able to “go” since before ER. Well, the bloating continued and I started blowing up. By the 3 day ET, I just knew I had fluid inside, based on my enormous stomach and was getting worried that the transfer wouldn’t happen. The nurse said they would check me before the ET to make sure I was ok, so not to worry.

On Monday, I waddled in to the ET prep room and the mean bitchy doctor that I hate was the one performing the procedure. Of course. She showed us a pic of our embryos and gave me my pregnancy test paperwork and was like, “Ok, lets go back for the transfer.”

Me: (Taken aback at how quick this was going down and the lack of information exchanged) “Umm…I haven’t been feeling great the last few days.”

The Bitch: “Bloating is normal.”

Me: But when I take a deep breath in, it sort of hurts, and I hope I don’t, but I think I may have some fluid build up or something. I was told I would be checked….”

The Bitch: There’s no point in checking because everyone has fluid in them after ER. (Lie.) You need to decide if you want to do this or not.

Me: I need to decide?!? I thought that was the doctor’s job?!?

The Bitch: Well, everyone is uncomfortable after ER, but most everyone decides to do the transfer. But your symptoms will definitely get worse if you get pregnant. How many eggs did you have? (Obviously hadn’t even looked at my chart.)

Me: I had over 20 follicles and my estrogen was 4750 when I triggered. I think that means I was/am at high risk for OHSS?

The Bitch: Well, Doctor R (head of the clinic) doesn’t even BELIEVE in OHSS unless someone is pregnant.

(I don’t even know how to respond to this incredibly unhelpful statement. He doesn’t believe in it… Like OHSS is the Tooth Fairy or a Leprechaun or something.)

Me: (flustered and stressed and gobsmacked by this situation) I want to do the transfer, but I’m feeling like maybe there’s a problem already, but I don’t know what’s normal and whats not, and I don’t want to end up in the hospital, and I just didn’t expect to come in here and have to make this massive decision in ten seconds.

The Bitch: Well, if its a decision, then you shouldn’t do it. You can choose to freeze them. What would you like to do?

Me: Well, can we have a minute at least?

She left at that point and maybe actually referred to my chart, because sent a nurse back to take me to have an ultrasound. She didn’t even come back herself, I didn’t see her again that day. Which was a blessing for me, but how awful is that?? Her nurse was a bitch too..she came in, did not say hello, did not introduce herself, did not say what was happening – just said, “Get dressed, we’re taking you for ultrasound.”

Thank goodness it was the Tom Green doctor who came into the ultrasound room to help. He spent alot of time with my husband and I, talking about our embryo quality, chances of conception on an FET with our embryos vs.a fresh transfer, how long we would have to wait to do it, etc. When he checked me he found “alot of free fluid” in my abdomen and ovaries measuring between 8-9 cm. He deemed it “borderline moderate to severe” hyperstimulation and that it could get worse over the next few days. And that with pregnancy it could get very bad. He said that if my ovaries measured 10 cm, he would say 100% don’t do the transfer, but we were not quite at that level yet. I told him that the bitch had said that everyone has fluid in their abdomen after ER. He said, “Well, what she meant was that everyone is hyperstimulated after an ER cycle…that’s what IVF is.” And thats not what she said, but whatever. I was just glad I had a reasonable person with an informed medical opinion in the room at that point to help us make this crucial decision.

After speaking with him, it was easier to make the decision to not proceed with the fresh transfer, freeze our embryos and try a few FET cycles when my body recovers. It made me so sad to leave the hospital without my embryos inside me, but I knew that it was the only decision that made sense. I want to be pregnant, but I don’t want to have to lose my kidney or liver function to get there. Some women are willing to risk it all, but I felt like I waited 2 years, I can wait another 2 months and be a much healthier vessle for my kiddies…not laid up in a hospital pumped full of anti-coagulant drugs and struggling to breathe.

I did end up getting worse that night through yesterday, my ovaries have gotten larger (so they are prob at that 10 cm state by now) and doc Tom Green said today that it may not be at its worst until the weekend. And then it can take WEEKS to go back to normal. But that I should start feeling better soon, and when I get my period, things will improve more rapidly.

What I’ve learned from all of this:

1. – OHSS is not preventable.. I drank quarts of gatorade and ate lots of salty snacks per the internet’s instructions, and still wound up a waddling swollen mess.

2. – If you hate a doctor at your clinic, even though statistically there is a 25% chance you would get them (because there are 4 potential docs) …the real life chance is closer to 98%.

3. Some doctors unfortunately don’t give a rat’s ass if you end up in the hospital, they just care that you are pregnant at that point and can add you to their stats. As long as you don’t die, they are good. And even if you do die, they are still ok because you signed off on all of those scary waivers.

4. – For the first time ever, I am happy to get up to go pee frequently.  It means I am not going to die.

So…let’s hear it for IVF… good times!!!